A Most Hearty Welcome

Hi friends,

            For decades I have battled varying levels of intrusive thoughts and hair pulling urges—OCD and Trichotillomania—and have done everything in my power to hide that silent war of mine. The emphasis was always on camouflaging the struggle, not opening up, so when I finally decided to chronicle a round of my Trichotillomania—from the first hair pulling incident to the day my hair grew back completely (plus all the intrusive and obsessive thoughts in between)—the whole endeavor did not spring forth out of a concrete plan. Honestly, it had just been an idea I had in the back of my mind (a prompting from the Lord) that I hadn’t given my whole heart to yet. So, when another major hair pulling episode started on January 28, 2019 there was no journaling, or picture taking, plan set into motion.  It actually wasn’t until about a week later that I thought, you know, I should really put in the effort and do this. (I thought, I could write letters to the Lord—that wouldn’t be so scary—and I could tell Him all about what I was going through. Then later, if I were brave, I could let others read those letters.) 

          So, in full transparency, the first letter written on February 4, 2019 was technically day number eight in the entire eleven-week timeline, but for simplicity’s sake (and way less confusion) I labeled it as day number one. And, in hopes of being completely clear, my desire is to upload two letters each new week—one on Monday and one on Thursday—so that in real time, this journey will spread over 39 weeks. Taking us from Easter Monday till the Thursday after Christmas—the final week of the year. (I absolutely love that this will correlate with the two major holidays celebrating our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. After all, it was the Lord to whom I poured my heart out to during this entire process.) There will be a total of 78 letters, and I truly hope you will enjoy journeying through their pages with me—a little chunk at a time. 

        My hope is that the letters will give you a truthful glimpse into the everyday occurrences between a “first” hair pulling episode and the day my eyebrows and eyelashes grow back completely. My goal was to keep the letters raw and honest, (to the point of including non-typical hardships that happened, along the way, that are not all entirely related to OCD and Trichotillomania) while also including the joyful and hilariously awkward parts typical within the struggle. Each letter is part of the daily story and important to the whole. A whole that has become a collection of love letters which I hope showcases my husband’s selfless devotion, the endless support from family and friends but, most importantly, the loving comfort bestowed upon me by my compassionate Savior as I battled with my OCD and Trichotillomania. (Wonderful comfort meant for you as well.) So, read on because who doesn’t love a love letter.

With great hope, 

Kaitlan