Red Dinner

Day 11 (February 14, 2019)

Hi Heavenly Father,

            Today is all about L*O*V*E. When this day rolls around, I often think of my mama because each February 14^th she prepares a festive red themed dinner. The meals usually consist of some sort of pasta dish covered in a red meat sauce, a salad garnished with red radishes or beats, canned cranberry presented in a glass dish, sliced strawberries sprinkled in sugar, and (my favorite part!) glasses of sparkling cider dyed pink with red food coloring. At each place setting there is always a Valentine’s Day card, from mom and dad, and a box of candy hearts. It always is a creatively celebrated holiday at my childhood home, and that tradition has spread to my brother and his wife’s home and mine and Dane’s home.

            Though Dane and I could not celebrate the holiday together, this year, I still decided to celebrate it with a red/pink themed dinner. To get in the festive mood, I decided to put on my favorite hot pink turtleneck top, and I even curled my hair into soft waves. Honestly, Lord, I was hoping that the hot pink top would make me feel as beautiful as the last time I wore it—which happened to be on Dane and my sixth wedding anniversary nearly a month prior—but it didn’t completely work out the way I had originally hoped. (Don’t worry it is not as horrible as it seems.) You see, on our anniversary night, I had both eyebrows intact and my eyelashes were almost all grown in. I suppose it really was the whole package I presented that night—the top, my hair, and my intact eyebrows and eyelashes—that actually made me feel beautiful. Plus, Dane and I had taken a really nice photo together, at the resort we were staying at, and I was proud of how I looked in the picture. (I felt sexy that night, Lord, which is not the most common feeling for me. Cute is more my speed haha.)

            The thing is, Father, the picture I took tonight showed something different. I will be honest and tell you I did not feel sexy wearing the hot pink top this time—mainly because my missing eyebrow and eyelash hairs altered the whole package—but, I will say, I felt pretty in a different sort of way. This might not make much sense, but I felt pretty, tonight, solely because I was over the moon excited that my hot pink turtleneck top was so on point for the holiday themed dinner. Crazy enough, the positive feelings I got, from being able to wear a perfectly colored top tonight, completely overshadowed any mixed feelings I was having about my facial beauty. (Festive attire for the win!!) Feelin’ pretty, and festive, I was very much ready to get my pasta makin’ on. (At least, I was until I realized the world was coming to an end because we were out of Parmesan cheese!)

            Come on, Lord, you know me. Every single spoonful of my pasta needs to be covered—I mean piled to the heavens and beyond—with cheese. (Basically, I want a little pasta with my cheese.) So, Father, you could see why the world was coming to an end as we knew it. My pasta dish just wasn’t going to taste right. It would be okay—just not superb! But even though it wouldn’t taste as wonderful as I wanted it to, I still got the noodles cookin’ and the sauce warming up on the stove. During the prep, I texted Dane to let him in on my HUGE cheese predicament, and he made me literally LOL when he said the pasta might as well taste like poop. (Haha, see why I love him!?)

            While the noodles were cooking, I blended a delicious smelling red berry smoothie and got a couple brownies set aside on a little, round, glass dish. As I was preparing to drain the noodle water, I heard someone unlocking the front door. Surprised is not even the right word to describe how I felt when I saw Dane walk through that door. In his hands, were my favorite bag of chocolates AND A CONTAINER OF PARMESAN CHEESE!!! (Honestly, I was having trouble holding back tears because this man of mine loves me with such thoughtful devotion. I mean, that boy literally spent his work break buying me chocolates and Parmesan cheese, Lord. Come on!) He smirked at me from right inside the door, knowing he had done good, and then hugged me as tight as he could. I asked him if he was off, but he let me know that he had to go back. (Pretty quickly too since he was illegally parked haha.) I thanked him a ton, kissed him real good, and sent him on his way.

            Oh, and I can’t forget to tell you, before the food was ready, I prepared a festive space. I decked out the coffee table in a beautiful cloth covered with heart appliques and, since I did not have any boxes of candy hearts, I placed a shiny, red, cut out heart—that had “X’s and O’s” cut out of the middle of it—on the table to be placed right alongside the meal dishes. Then, on the shades behind me, I framed the meal with two red hanging décor pieces. All that was needed was the food. I must admit, the pasta ended up tasting delicious; the smoothie was a little tart, but mostly sweet; and the brownies were, well you know, scrumptious. Jesus, you might want to know too, I unashamedly devoured half of the Parmesan cheese in that beautiful container! (It was gloriously unhealthy!)

            I am so glad I decided to do a red/pink themed dinner, even if it was just me enjoying it, and I am beyond glad that I decided to up the festiveness by dressing in a top that went with the décor. Thank you, Lord, that my hot pink top basically became a creative tool allowing me to not focus on my missing hairs but, instead, feel pretty for completely unique reasons. (Father, it is funny what things help take my mind off my struggles, but I have learned to use whatever positive strategies that work.) And, of course, I can’t forget to thank you for my sneaky husband who loves me in the kindest ways and thinks I am pretty—hairy or not. What a fun night!

Always,

Your Daughter Kaitlan

P.S. Heavenly Father, will you supply those who suffer with Trichotillomania with creative tools that will help them see themselves in a better light? Can you please supply unique tools that can also help take their minds off their struggle for a little while? But, most of all, can you provide each one of us, who deal with Trichotillomania, special tools that will help calm the hair pulling urges and help us manage the struggle better? Thank you!

Thank you for reading! If you are new, this is a chronological blog series. It is best read in order. CLICK HERE for the intro.