A Thing of Beauty

Day 53 (March 28, 2019)

Hey Big Man,

            Hope you won’t be singin’ Carly Simon’s song “You’re So Vain” in your head as you read my words today, haha. Today was just a thing of beauty, Father. (Every single piece of it.) Today was the day we visited the Biltmore Estate. As we approached the mansion, the long lawn swept my eyes forward along its rectangular frame until they were captivated by the grandest manor I have ever seen in my life. Outside, the house’s expert stonework dominated the eye and demanded that my gaze follow its expansive width, while also daring my gaze to fly high towards the peaked roof tops. (Up there, my eyes met a few haunted eyes along the way, but don’t worry they weren’t ghostly peepers. More like the penetrating eyes of a few gargoyles!) Inside, my eyes were absolutely dazzled by the architectural expertise shown through the Winter Garden’s exquisite woodwork; by the talented craftsmanship displayed through the intricate carvings of the Banquet Hall’s fireplace mantel; and by the accumulation of artistic masterpieces illustrated by the numerous tapestries and paintings found throughout the house.

            Lord, the manor blew me away in every sense of the phrase. The art history major in me felt like walking through the house like five more times. There were just too many finite details for my eyes to behold, and there was just no way one pass through could ever be enough to squelch the enthusiasm within me. (Imagine the parties that were hosted within those walls. My goodness they must have been grand affairs!) Lord, it may not have been an early 20th century bash, but us gals might have gotten a small taste of that Biltmore glam today because, guess what!? We had a reservation for high tea at The Inn on the Biltmore Estate. (Talk about another beautiful building!) The Inn was built atop a hill with expansive views of the mountain ranges beyond, especially from the room in which high tea was served. The room was grand, as too be expected at this point, and had a gorgeous fireplace centering the room. My gaze was automatically drawn to my left where a beautifully curved space was filled to brimming with natural light, due to the massive windows flanking the entire curvature of the exterior wall. It was a space that spoke of illuminated beauty, and sophistication, and our table was in the middle of that light filled room.

            So, Lord, you can bet I was so glad each of us ladies had prepared for this special event by dolling up a bit.  I had curled my hair and donned a pretty maxi dress with a soft blush pink floral pattern on it (fit to be hand painted onto a teacup if I do say so myself). It sure was fun getting dressed up a bit today. And you wanna know what the crazy thing was, Lord? I actually felt pretty today—gloriously feminine—despite my eyelashes not being fully grown in yet. Between the gorgeous architecture and how I was feeling about myself (haha, see why I brought up the song!?), my battle with trichotillomania was most assuredly far from my thoughts. (Such a wonderful rarity!) What was on my mind, though, were the sweet treats that had been laid right in front of my face. There were scones with jam and, my favorite of the day, Bailey macrons with coffee caramel. (Holy moly they were to die for.) I washed it all down with some tropical herbal tea, with a dash of honey, which was absolutely delicious as well.

            After high tea was over, we walked down a beautiful winding pathway that led us towards the estate’s winery. Arm in arm, my sister, mom, and I all took in the rolling hills around us and breathed in the sweet scent of the daffodils lining the pathway. We laughed and smiled with each other, so happy to just bask in the peace around us. A peace where battles fade to the background and your beautiful creation, Lord, takes center stage. (Where hair pulling is not something that exists to even think about.) Lord, I said it once, and I will say it again, today was a thing of beauty—every single piece of it. All I can say is thank you. Thank you for all of it.

Always,

Your Daughter Kaitlan

P.S. Lord, I bet you a million bucks there is at least one other person out there that is not feeling like they look like “a million bucks” because of their battle with Trichotillomania. Feeling beautiful can be such a rarity when dealing with a hair pulling disorder. So, Lord, can I ask a big favor from you? Can you please help those also struggling with Trichotillomania to experience a day soon that is truly a thing of beauty? A day where the ladies feel sophisticated, and the men feel dapper, as they each enjoy a new favorite spot; a day where they soak in the natural beauty of your creation; a day where all things combine to sweep away the feelings of “ugliness” they might be harboring.

Lord, I do not want us to be vain in any way, but I do not want us to think that our disorder makes us ugly either. You do not think I am ugly—you do not think any of your children are ugly. Not once did you say “oops” when you created each one of us. So, Lord, as a bunch of us deal with Trichotillomania, let us have Psalm 139 verses 13-14 on repeat in each one of our minds because it is the truth we should be harboring: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Thank you for reading! If you are new, this is a chronological blog series. It is best read in order. CLICK HERE for the intro.