Final Update

Eyebrows: DONE        Eyelashes: DONE

Day #78 (April 22, 2019)

Hey Lord,

            We made it. Took a few extra weeks, but we finally made it! Can you believe it!? After 11 weeks of exhaustive effort, my eyelashes have all grown back long and lush, and my eyebrows are still miraculously (okay maybe not so miraculously since it did take a ton of will power on my end not to pull haha) fully intact. And I could not have accomplished this great feat on my own. (No freakin’ way, Lord.) I could not have done it without the help of my husband—my teammate—who encouraged me to “hang in there” every step of the way; my adorable Miss Maple who comforted me with sweet nose bumps and cuddles for days; my therapist, Counselor Z, who supplied me with third party guidance and techniques to help me manage the anxiety better; my mom, dad, sister, brother, aunt, in-laws, and best friends who each helped me in their own unique way (some by losing sleep to help me with my “checks,” others by lending an ear to what I go through and supporting the good I hoped to bring out of it, and many by taking on the role of prayer warriors); and, of course, you Lord. You are the one who meticulously chose each and every person—and fur baby—that would surround me. Lord, you lovingly assembled the supportive team around me—a non-judgmental team—with you at the head. (What a comfort knowing you are the One championing my cause.)

            Lord, you knew from the very beginning that I would face the challenges of OCD and Trichotillomania and that my brain would function in such a way that would ultimately lead to my dealing with facial hair oddities, but never once did you forget about me. (You put into place the best support team a girl could ever ask for.) Nor have you ever looked upon my image and labeled me odd. (I let the world and myself do that.) Psalm 139: 13-14 says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Those words by King David do not describe your artistic actions as half-assed (pardon my French, Lord). No, they firmly emphasize that your workmanship—the “creation of my inmost being”—is complete, “wonderful,” and without mistake. I am “fearfully and wonderfully made” by you (completely from the inside out) and knowing that helps me look at the two images above with your loving eyes, Lord. And you know what I see within each frame!? Strength, beauty, and character that should not be hidden away but meaningfully employed the way you always intended them to be.

            After all, Paul says in Ephesians 2:10, “…we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.” What beautiful truth, Lord. These words, once again, point to your one-of-a-kind craftsmanship, and how we—as believers in Jesus Christ—are exquisite works, renewed by faith, meant to do so much good for you. (You crafted us masterfully with so much purpose—you crafted every little piece of me with so much purpose, Lord, and I do not want to let your artistry go to waste.) Deep down inside, I know my struggle with Trichotillomania is not purposeless. (The battle is, more often than not, hard as hell, but it is not futile—it is not for nothing.) Honestly, Lord, I think you have allowed me to endure this struggle because eventually, after much stalling, you knew I would discard my hermit tendencies and be willing to make this visible struggle even more visible. I think you knew I would be someone who would be able to push past the discomfort and openly share my struggle with others in hopes that they could see just how good you are Lord, amidst all of it, and therefore find hope within their own hardships. Lord, I think you knew I would be willing to utilize the creative artistry, you bestowed upon me, “to do the good things you planned for me long ago.” Just like that pale yellow rose, with the green petal, I may come across slightly “imperfect,” but I like to think I was created with a touch of character that shimmers, and shines, and which was always meant to illuminate a pathway straight to you, Lord. The One who brings specific comfort to peoples’ specific struggles, and the One who can truly set a mind’s anxious darkness alight.

Always,

Your Daughter Kaitlan

P.S. Lord, it is weirdly exciting to think of just how many people have had, do currently, and will in the future share in my purpose. (Not that I would wish this sort of “affliction” on anyone, I just think it a fulfilling way to shine. It is light well-earned, no doubt, but it is also a humble way to reach a deeply, dependent relationship with you, Lord. But I think that is the part our hearts truly long for.) I do not want to minimize the struggle of OCD and Trichotillomania. Believe me, I understand the dark parts—the parts that torment you—and that is why I am praying, most sincerely Lord, that you help anyone dealing with these mental challenges to know deep down in their souls that their battle is not purposeless. I pray you help each and every person, in my same boat, channel that battle tested strength and courage into opening up and relating to others. Help them see they are too “fearfully and wonderfully made” by you, with a touch of character, that if they so choose, can be used to shine hope brilliantly into another person’s darkness. They have the tremendous ability to do so much good for you, Lord. They have the ability to illuminate a path, for themselves and others, that leads straight into your comforting arms. So, let them shine brilliantly, Lord, the way you always meant them too.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

(2 Corinthians 1: 3-4)

Thank you for reading! If you are new, this is a chronological blog series. It is best read in order. CLICK HERE for the intro.