Planting New Roots

Day 49 (March 24, 2019)

Hey Lord,

            Today was my first full day in North Carolina, and we spent most of the day puttering around the city my family hopes to move to. If I am being honest, I am struggling a bit with how I feel about the area, but I do love the fact that most of the pocket communities around here are in close driving proximity to anything you need (e.g., grocery stores, pharmacies, medical facilities, colleges, restaurants, etc.). You can take the back roads or hop on the freeway and get to any of these places in less than a 15-minute drive. Lord, you know that would be a huge bonus for our family, especially since our current family home is situated nine miles outside of the nearest town, and it takes about 40 minutes to drive to the nearest freeway (ha, less if you are a long time local). It would give me such peace of mind to know my family (my dad in particular) is closer to medical facilities. Plus, on a high note, the pocket communities seem to be filled with beautiful brick homes that have definitely left a positive impression on my heart. (I do seem to prefer a more traditional style home, more frequently found on the East Coast, over the Spanish style that is very prevalent in California.)

           We walked through three model homes today, and they were absolutely gorgeous. Each one boasted customizable options that dazzled the eyes. (Some of those master bedrooms could fit Dane and my condo twice over!) Though my family will most likely pass on building a home with these builders—the base costs of these homes put them on the more extravagant end of the spectrum—it really is humbling to begin to see what kind of homes you could provide for our family here, Lord. The fact that my family can sell our house in California, purchase a comfortable home here in North Carolina, and be relatively debt free, makes me want to cry for joy. After a decade fraught with frightening health challenges that produced overwhelming bills for my family—a time in which your endless provisions, Lord, sustained my family—a weight can be lifted off my dad’s shoulders because of the wonderful opportunity to move to North Carolina. (I am extremely grateful that you would provide such an opportunity for my family, Lord. You have kept our heads above water and that type of endless support is overwhelming. Thank you for that kind of love. Truly.)

            I think it is for this reason—the idea that my dad could finally have peace of mind—that I am struggling to share my mixed emotions about the move. (Lord, I do not want to seem ungrateful. I really don’t.) But, if I am being honest, I just worry about North Carolina being the right fit for my family. I mean, North Carolina’s conservative values are a wonderful fit for my family, but the Southern culture here is very different than the Southern California culture my family is accustomed to. Not bad, just different. Also, the area my family is looking seems nice, just maybe a tad bit hokey at times. Then again, I am sure if someone drove through our hometown, they would totally call it “Hicksville.” Our hometown is most definitely a cow town nestled within the borders of San Diego County. (We may or may not have had to call the authorities to get a loose cow off one of the main roads. So, there is that.) But, Lord, it is my “Hicksville”—I love it—and even though this area of North Carolina has many similarities to where my family is from, it just isn’t the same.

           Gosh, I really am not meaning to tear down North Carolina, Lord. North Carolina is a beautiful state full of kind people. I just hope others can understand, should they read this, that it just does not feel like home to me. Home is a two story, pastel yellow, house surrounded by rock strewn mountains; home is our cul-de-sac family—beloved for 20 years—getting together to watch an outdoor movie on a perfect 75-degree (Fahrenheit) summer night; finally, home is California where my family, relatives, and friends have been settled for over 30 years. Our roots have grown deep in California, and it is hard to imagine anywhere else being home. That is why my heart feels so anxious, Lord. Can North Carolina ever feel like home—not just for me but for all my family members? I understand I have only been in North Carolina for one day—that is definitely not enough time for it to feel like home—and I (we) need to give it time. So, Lord, here is the prayer most on my heart:

            Heavenly Father,

My mom and dad have prayed long and hard about this move, and they feel like,

at least for this time, North Carolina is where you are guiding them. Should this

be the place you want our new family home to be, then please help my family

to find the right spot to begin planting new roots. Let those who are moving—my

mom, dad, aunt, and sister—absolutely fall in love with North Carolina, and

encourage them to get involved in their new community wholeheartedly and, at

the same time, let their new community (and church family) embrace them with

open arms. (Also, could you maybe help those of us not making the move—me,

my brother, and our spouses—keep an open mind in order that we may grow

to love the new area as well.) But if this is not where you want our new family

home, then please close this door, and lead my parents to where our new family

home should be.

Please, do not let my words make my dad sad in any way. (He is so excited

about North Carolina.) I am not meaning to doubt the decisions he has made for

the family. Honestly, I really do feel like North Carolina could open so many

amazing doors. I mean, my parents could travel across the pond for the first

time, ever, so much more easily from this location. My parents, aunt, and sister

could meet Dane and I somewhere in between North Carolina and Toronto—

maybe in D.C. to visit the Smithsonian or in Philadelphia to watch the Padres

verse the Phillies—because we will be within driving distance from each other,

instead of 2,500 miles apart. With a move like this, to the East Coast, I would

actually get to see my family more often! (How glorious does that sound!?) Ha,

just the fact that I would not have to take a five-hour plane flight to see

everyone makes this move very appealing.

All kidding aside, Lord, I just ask one thing really. No matter where you lead

my family, please help my parents to find a house that fits all us kids, future

grandkids, relatives, and friends because honestly, in the end, that is what will

make a new house truly feel like home again. Thank you, Lord. I love you, tons!

Always,

Your Daughter Kaitlan

P.S. Lord, can you please help others who are in the same boat as me? It can be a hard transition when parents choose to sell the family home, retire outside the state where we grew up, and plant new roots. Now the thing is that many of us “kids” are not moving along with the rest of the family. Some of us are already out of state and might be feeling sad we won’t be able to go back to our childhood home; some of us are still living somewhere in our hometowns and maybe feeling like we are being left behind a tad; while some of us are still living in our home states but feeling a bit topsy turvy with our familiar support system being uprooted.

Whatever the case—and there are more scenarios than what I have listed I am sure—please help us to trust you with the change, Lord. Help our parents, and other family members, find the spot you want them to be in where we can all make new wonderful memories; help those of us not moving, and our other family members too of course, to know you are with us during the upheaval, and remind us that you will always be our support system; and, finally, help all of our hearts to know that our family members are the actual home and to remember you will provide the right location and walls for that home. Thank you, Lord.

Thank you for reading! If you are new, this is a chronological blog series. It is best read in order. CLICK HERE for the intro.