Saying No to Everyday Idols

Day 63 (April 7, 2019)

Holy moly Lord,

            I did another walk on my own! Dane had to work on a movie closeout today, so I went to church all by lonesome. (Just me, myself, and I.) Believe me, Lord, there was this large part of me that wanted to just stay home and put a television program on that I love. It would have been easy to just sit on the couch—not deal with the stress that comes with walking past four construction sites on my own—and just livestream the service on my computer. (I mean, dang, didn’t I push myself out of my comfort zone enough, walking to the grocery store, yesterday??) But the thing was, there was this even bigger part of me that really wanted to push past those kind of apathetic plans—show myself I could be brave two days in a row—and go to church because I knew it would be worth all the effort. So, I made the choice, again, to do something independently, and I am so glad I did.

            While I was walking down our street a car came crawling up alongside me. My flight instincts went straight into hyperdrive. I was always taught to be aware of strangers pulling up around me with their vehicles. Gosh, that reminds me! Remember when my friend and I (let’s call her “A” for privacy’s sake) were walking down that quiet street back home, and we heard a guy pull up behind us and call out with a really “funny” accent? “Hey, you cute chicks! You want a ride!?” Remember how I freakin’ beelined it straight for that random person’s house and was about to say hi to the man outside like he was my dad because I was willing to press my luck with him on the ladder than the one in a getaway car. Luckily, before I caught the second man’s attention, I looked back behind me and realized it was MY DAD, of all people, playing a prank on us girls. (No wonder the accent sounded off, haha.)

            I will never live that moment down, Lord!! I had left poor “A” in the dust. Got to give a girl a break, though, because I followed my parents’ directions to a “T.” But this time, before I beelined it away from the vehicle, I looked in the driver’s seat and noticed it was a kindly looking woman who seemed just a tad bit frazzled. (No one else was in the car.) She rolled her window down and asked me if the street we were on was a one-way street. I let her know she was all good and, just like that, she thanked me and happily went on her way. It was just a normal person with no nefarious motives—and no pranks up their sleeves—needing some help, and it felt really good knowing that, because I ventured out of the house again, I was able to ease someone else’s worries.

            What was awesome was that this positive encounter put me in a great head space right before tackling the four construction zones. The thing about these construction zones is that they all tend to have tanks lying within reach of pedestrians. (Alright, if I am being truly honest, the tanks are behind fencing but, in my head, it seems easy enough for someone—especially me—to reach their fingers through the metal wire fencing and mess with nozzles and such.) As I walk past construction zones my OCD likes to muddle reality and tries to convince me that I could have done something horrible without noticing. (My OCD likes to try and convince me that I am the dark sides of Elastic Girl and The Flash all morphed into one evil super villain.)

            Deep down inside, I know messing with any tanks would take a lot of effort and time—all of which would leave no question as to what I was doing. (There would be no confusion revolving around whether I did something or not.) So, to help my mind stay steadfast on that truthful reality, I kept my hands locked onto my Bible bag, obviously not squeezing through any metal fencing, and kept my eyes zeroed in on the sidewalk ahead of me. And guess what, Lord!? I made it to church without a single incident, and my mind actually stayed pretty dang calm. (Imagine that, Lord. I am a decent human being once again!)

            The service was so special, Lord. (Worth every little bit of effort to get there.) We sang one of my absolute favorite worship songs written by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend (performed by Geoff Moore and Adrienne Liesching) called, “In Christ Alone.” Lord, one of the last lines of the song speaks of you “calling us home” and it stirs my heart every time. (Any time Heaven is spoken about as home, my arms get covered in little goose bumps, and I feel a little ache in my soul—a little yearning to be with you in the home you have prepared for your people away from the hurt and pain.) And, speaking of being moved, it was an absolute treat to get to sit in on a sermon given by the missionary our church supports in Chad, Africa. He spoke on the topic of true Christian conversion, and one of his main points homed in on how we, as Christians, must turn away from the everyday idols that hold us captive.

            The sermon really convicted my heart because I started to think about all the everyday things in my own life that I give way more attention to, than you Lord. I knew right away that one of my biggest idols was television/entertainment. (I mean, at the beginning of this letter, I even said how easy it would have been to just stay home today and watch a favorite program of mine, instead of putting in the effort to go to church.) It is not like I have to completely give up watching a favorite series of mine, during my free time, but I need to make sure I do not give it more importance than you, or seek it above you, Lord. I need to make sure my priorities are set straight—putting time with you first, Lord, and time watching tv second—because only then will I experience the fullness of your spirit which can help prepare me to serve, and write, for you with purposeful determination, instead of distracted half-heartedness.

            Now, I am not saying I gotta go cancel all my media subscriptions this instant. My favorite television series are wonderful escapes and joyful gifts you provide in my life, Lord. I just think that I, and other Christians, need to make sure we do not treasure the gifts in our lives more than the One who gives the gifts. It is a lesson that my heart continually needs to be reminded of, and I was truly glad that I did not give in to the temptation to just stay home, and watch tv, because that little bit of extra effort (maybe even courage) was rewarded with the chance to worship by singing one of my favorite songs, and I did not miss our church’s missionary being in town and getting to hear his heart convicting sermon. But—most importantly—that extra bit of effort afforded me time devoted wholly to you, my Heavenly Father, and that is time well spent. (Daddy daughter time for the win, haha!) Love you, Lord.

Always,

Your Daughter Kaitlan

P.S. Lord, I am sure there are others that deal with extreme OCD, and I can bet that they, like me, enjoy watching television because it is a form of escapism—a short burst of time where the mind is locked onto something other than intrusive thoughts—and that is not, in its entirety, a bad thing. It becomes a negative thing when we give it a towering importance above you, Lord. Sometimes when that happens, I feel like the idol is no longer just a form of escape but, instead, becomes a manipulative aid to the apathetic feelings many of us battle, due to our anxiety, quietly lulling us to just stay home, do nothing, and not push past our fears.

These idols are a symbol of a fleeting sort of peace. A peace in which the tranquility is momentary and where we are still stuck once the credits roll. So, Lord—Prince of Peace—please help each and every one of us to pinpoint these everyday idols in our lives. The idols we may have unknowingly made more important than you, so we can refocus the importance back on you. For you are the One who can give us the strength to persevere through the anxious struggles, and not stay stuck; and you are the One, who by His sacrifice, has provided the ultimate escape if we only trust in You.

Thank you for reading! If you are new, this is a chronological blog series. It is best read in order. CLICK HERE for the intro.