No Racing Mind Here

Day 57 (April 1, 2019)

Hey Lord,

            So, it was Dane’s actual birthday today, and he got quite the present—birthday orthotics. How ironic that his specially designed shoe insoles would be available for pick up today, of all days. (Ha, he is such an ol’ man!) Dane cracks me up, Lord, because I think he actually loves all the gray hairs coming in on both sides of his head. (I have offered to pluck some of his grays for him, but he always pulls away and is like, “Nooo, I like them!”) Funny thing is, I like them too. He is gonna be one sexy silver fox.

            Since we had already done the big event for his 30th a couple days ago, today was a low-key celebration. We spent a happy evening together curled up on the couch, eating our favorite specialty popcorns—white cheddar and garlic parmesan—and watching Formula One. I knew nothing of the sport, Lord, but Dane had just finished watching a documentary about last year’s Formula One season and was excited to introduce me to racing. Honestly, I didn’t mind what we watched. I just loved being cuddled into his left side, with his left arm wrapped around my shoulder (the arm not needed to eat his popcorn of course), and our cute kitty curled up on my lap. Such a sweet snapshot of a happy family, Lord. (Thank you for that.)

            During the many—MANY—laps, I kept placing kisses on Dane’s left cheek. (Smothering, I know, but what can I say? Men in their thirties are hot.) Haha, Dane was like, “Sorry you are bored.” I really wasn’t terribly bored—I definitely saw this being a form of racing I could get into—it was just that there were so many laps, at least on this specific track, and sometimes not much happened. (I will say it did make for a lot of time to just enjoy each other without constant sport pandemonium.) In the end, the drivers decided to make it interesting on the final laps, and the boys we were rooting for placed third and fourth. (Not too bad, huh Lord!?)

            Though the race was enjoyable, the important thing that I took away from tonight was the fact that for two hours—two glorious race car filled hours—I experienced no anxiety whatsoever. It was a rare snippet of time in which I experienced mental peace. (Maybe the laps upon laps caused a hypnotic calm within my brain. Ha, or maybe it was due to the enormous amount of popcorn we put down—total food coma.) Honestly, like I have mentioned many times before, it is just comforting to be with my man. It is not like Dane is an instant cure or anything. But, more often than not, being near him allows my mental fortresses to crumble a bit, and I am able to just be. Time with my husband is my God given peace on Earth. (I don’t really have to tell you that, Lord. You are the gift giver after all.) I just want you to know how thankful I am for my husband, and the peace that he brings me, and I will gladly take however much time with him that you will give me—with a side order of white cheddar popcorn, please. (Wink, wink!)

Always,

Your Daughter Kaitlan

P.S. Lord, cuddling up to a loved one, and enjoying watching a new sport with them, really does have a way of dissipating anxious thoughts and urges. For a time, it can allow you to let your guard down because you feel especially safe in the presence of the other person. Plus, watching a new sport doesn’t really leave you much room to think of anything other than the sport because your concentration is usually centered around figuring out the dynamics and unfamiliar rules of the event on the screen. This scenario, in its entirety, really does create an environment a bit removed from anxiousness (unless your newly chosen team is losing, and you get stressed that way LOL). But, overall, I would say an evening like this allows for mental peace to settle in nicely. So, Lord, I just ask that you look out for those who deal with a lot of anxiousness, like me, and help provide them with loved ones they can cuddle up to, maybe while watching a new sport, so they can relax their minds for a while. Thank you, Lord.

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