A Not Entirely Happy Update–BUT–Not an Entirely Unhappy Update Either

Eyebrows: DONE        Eyelashes: Week 8

Day 58 (April 2, 2019)

Hi Lord,

            So, I am in what should be my last week of re-growth for my eyelashes but, unfortunately, after taking the picture for my letter, there is no denying that it will be at least another week—quite possibly more—before my right eyelash line grows back in fully. At least that is what I am hoping will happen. Honestly, I am not so sure anymore if my right eyelash line has the ability to grow back full and lush. I worry I have pulled my eyelashes out one too many times and have finally caused the irrevocable damage I have feared for so long. Oh Lord, I hope not.

            I mean, I am sure the area I am referring to is pretty obvious. (Ugh, taking the picture at that angle hides nothing, Lord. In all honesty, it is extremely discouraging.) The picture reveals that the right side of my right eyelash line (my right to be perfectly clear) has sparse growth. It makes it look like I have been pulling again because of the thinned-out appearance, but I haven’t. The few hairs on that side are thankfully long and curve in such a way that, at least when you are looking at my opened eyes straight on, they kind of hide the issue. But should someone (like a tall person) look at me from above, or see me with my eyes closed, the sparseness is embarrassingly obvious.

            I texted Dane about all of this, and he tried extremely hard to keep my spirits up and remind me to see all the positive progress. It is true that, overall, my re-growth progress has been very encouraging. Both of my eyebrows grew back full, and I have not pulled at them terribly. (Just a bit of rubbing on them but nothing too damaging.) And my left eyelash line is almost completely grown back in with long, dirty blonde lashes. To only have one area with issues is pretty darn amazing, considering how many years I have been pulling. It’s just that I can’t help but notice the one area above all the rest.

            I am definitely my worst critic, and I can be extremely harsh towards myself. Honestly, I just think the inner voice inside me does not believe I will ever be strong enough to not pull, or that my hard work will ever truly change my struggle, and it looks for areas—like the right side of my right eyelash line—to prove its point. Lord, I am sorry for letting the inner voice inside my head get me down. (I mean, it is wrong. Everything isn’t so bad.) Ha, I really am so much better at seeing the positive aspects in everyone else’s struggles. Maybe, Lord, you could help me to rewire that little voice inside me, so it is not always so pessimistic towards my own struggles.

            Then maybe once that inner voice inside me is rewired, it could help encourage me to stay positive and remain patient because the re-growth process isn’t over yet. After all, there are still some small eyelashes growing around that problem area and those could fill up the airy sections of the eyelash line, since eyelashes like to curve and move. Plus, the area on my right eyelash line could be much, MUCH, worse. It could be completely barren, but it is not. Instead, it is just a little thinned out. So, help me take heart, Lord, because things are way more positive than negative, and there is still so much progress yet to come.

Always,

Your Daughter Kaitlan

P.S. Lord, I am sure there are others, like me, who have an inner voice that is completely pessimistic towards their own struggles. Can you please help them rewire that little voice so, when they see the progress of their hair re-growth, they can hopefully concentrate more on positive aspects than negative aspects? Help them keep heart, Lord, because the hard work they are putting into not pulling is inspiring and can truly change the course of their struggle. 

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